A Letter
Dear Scale: It has come to my attention that you are feeling neglected and, quite possibly, suffering from depression related to a lack of purpose. Since I’m not speaking to you right now, I thought...
View ArticleSir Plucksalot
I have a witch mole. It is a birthmark on my cheek that sticks out like someone glued the tip of a skin-colored raisin to my face. When I was a little girl, it was just a dark, slightly raised...
View ArticleThree generations of butts
Skin wrinkles. Hair whitens. Butts droop. Aging is not a pretty picture, is it? And it’s even less pretty when you’re in a dressing room with all those mirrors that don’t hide anything. Rather, they...
View ArticleRunning in my forties
I have been many shapes and sizes throughout my life. Fat kid no-one wanted on their team. Superskinny teenager who smoked and starved herself thin. Pushing a size 14 (UK sizes) in my 20s. Boyfriend...
View ArticleA Case for the Red Vagina
I’m the one on the left. I live in the Southern United States of America, also known as The Bible Belt. There are certain things I can count on here: mosquitoes, iced tea sweet enough to make my...
View ArticleWelcome to the jungle
Photo credit: Flickr/Pearls Lace & Ruffles By now everyone not living under a rock has at least heard about the Abercrombie & Fitch “Fat people are uncool” story. While it’s a disheartening...
View ArticleOperation Bathing Suit
It is the email subject line that stops my heart like clockwork every year: “Pool Opens This Weekend.” Wasn’t it just New Year’s Day two minutes ago? Remember New Year’s? That day nearly half a year...
View ArticleIt’s Just Hair
And what a lovely beard it it, Iris! About four years ago I let one of my stepsisters talk me into “going platinum.” She said being a blonde would make me look and feel hot, young, and stylish. I...
View ArticleClosed Minds and Open Letters
It’s a weird week for news and not news news (do I sound like a horrible love child of Gertrude Stein and Donald Rumsfield? No? I should…). Syria is still a mess btw, we still have a small portion of...
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